


Itsumademo (Forever)

by vogue91



Category: Amuse
Genre: Fluff, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 11:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14056011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “Kimi, I’m sorry.” he said, guilty. “I’m sorry for how I’ve made you feel, I’m sorry I couldn’t give you an explanation and having behaved this way these past few weeks. Really, had I known you were feeling so bad, I...” he sighed again, reaching out his hand to rest it on the younger one’s, preventing them to shiver. “I was meaning to do this in Tokyo, to tell you the truth, but after all I think this moment is more suited.





	Itsumademo (Forever)

Kimito didn’t feel right that night.

It had been since they had started rehearsing for the show that there had been something weird about Soichi, and as much as the elder kept telling him that it was just a feeling he had, Kimito couldn’t convince himself to let go.

They had arrived in Osaka the day before, and if he had hoped that they could find some time to spend alone to fix it, he had been awfully wrong.

When they arrived to the hotel he hadn’t blinked when he had heard Soichi was going to get his own room.

It was normal, it had always been like that during the tour, and he had never expected for someone to point out there wasn’t really any need for two separate rooms.

He had started to get worried when the elder hadn’t given any sign to want to share his room with him, and had just brought the luggage his own, without even explaining the reason behind that behaviour, so different than usual.

“A feeling. A feeling, he says.” he complained out loud, crouched on a chair in Takuya’s room, his eyes fixated outside the window. “You’ve seen it too, right, the way he’s ignored me for the past few weeks?” he asked. “And it’s the same at home. As soon as he can he looks for excuses not to spend his time with me, he goes out and doesn’t even bother to tell me where, or he pretends to go to sleep before me. Takkun, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” he finished, pinching his lower lip with his nails, trying to suffocate the nervousness.

Takuya rose from the bed, sighing.

“Kimi, don’t you think you’re going a little too fast? I’m sure it’s just a phase. Maybe he’s distracted about something. I’m sure you’re making it worse than it actually is. Try and talk to him, maybe he...”

“He what? He’ll tell me he’s thought about it, he’s pondered and he doesn’t want to...” he paused, incapable of saying out loud what had just gone through his mind.

He felt like crying.

Since he’d joined the agency, Soichi had always been his rock. He had liked him from the start, and the attentions he received from his were so unexpected that he still had a hard time believing that the elder could really love him.

But he had shown it to him, with time, tearing down all his uncertainties, truly making him see what it meant to be loved.

And that was the reason why Kimito had no intention of crawling back inside that black hole of doubts, and that was why he wished his boyfriend would’ve told him what his intentions were.

Takuya stood up, resting his hands on his shoulder, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

“Kimi, So is not going to leave you. I know he loves you, and you know it as well. So, instead of thinking over and over about the most catastrophic scenarios, why don’t you just ask him for an explanation?”

The younger one shrugged, standing up.

He was afraid, that was why he didn’t ask.

But he didn’t feel like telling Takuya that, because he didn’t want to hear once again that he was a goddamn insecure, and that it was all in his imagination.

He sighed.

Afraid or not or hearing Soichi say he wasn’t so important to him anymore, even more scary was the thought of staying any longer inside that limbo.

 

*

 

He knocked on the door, unsure.

“So?” he called, low, then heard some noises coming from behind the door before it opened.

“Kimi!” the elder said, surprised to see him. “Here, come on in. What... what are you doing here? It’s late, we’ve got the show tomorrow, perhaps you should...”

“I’m not tired.” the other man cut it, moving him aside to get inside. He looked around, as to see the signs of something he wasn’t familiar with.

What, then? He had no clue about his boyfriend’s attitude, no idea of what he was trying to do to avoid a confrontation from which he couldn’t escape anymore.

He sat on the bad, rubbing his eyes and then looked at Soichi, who kept standing in front of him.

“Is there something wrong, honey?” he asked, and the pet name irritate Kimito so much more than if he had said he hated him.

“Yes. Yes, Soichi, there’s something wrong.” he sighed. “I want you to tell me what’s gotten into you lately. I want you to tell me fair and square what’s going on in your mind, without you trying to sell me crap like that I’m imagining it all, because we both know it’s not like that. It doesn’t explain why when we’re in Tokyo you disappear for entire afternoons without telling me where you’re going; it doesn’t explain why you’re avoiding me, or why you’re in this room instead of with me. Please, Soichi. Whatever it is, I can take it. If you want...” he took a deep breath, trying to hold back his tears. “If you wanna break up with me, do it now. I can’t take it anymore.” he finished, lowering his eyes and staring at the floor, unable to look the elder in the eyes and reading his answer there before he could give it to him.

His hands were trembling, and he clenched his fists to try and mask it.

Soichi didn’t answer. He kept still in front of him, antsy, until he made up his mind to sigh, going to his suitcase and looking for something inside.

Kimito had no idea as to what was going on, and he wasn’t even dying to find out.

Found what he was searching and after having messed for a while with the pockets of his pants, Soichi went back to him, kneeling on the floor and looking straight at him.

“Kimi, I’m sorry.” he said, guilty. “I’m sorry for how I’ve made you feel, I’m sorry I couldn’t give you an explanation and having behaved this way these past few weeks. Really, had I known you were feeling so bad, I...” he sighed again, reaching out his hand to rest it on the younger one’s, preventing them to shiver. “I was meaning to do this in Tokyo, to tell you the truth, but after all I think this moment is more suited.” he cleared his throat, and Kimito held his breath.

That was it.

He had just told him he was ready to stand whatever was coming, but it wasn’t true. He wasn’t going to stand Soichi breaking up with him.

He would’ve begged, had it been necessary. He would’ve told him he couldn’t live without him, that he didn’t know how to, that he was all and he was willing to do whatever it took to keep him there with him.

He wasn’t ready.

“Kimi.” the other man called him, tearing him away from his thoughts. “Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot. About... about us, I mean. We’ve been together for five years now, and I know it’s not that long, but I feel like we’ve always been together. I feel great with you, I’m happy when you’re with me, even when we’re just in the same room. But...” he bit his lower lip, nervous, and Kimito stopped breathing altogether. “I’ve always thought that all those who say they’ll love each other forever had no idea what they were talking about. But I know now, Kimito, and I’ve found out the truth about forever just thinking about you, and that I honestly wish I could spend the rest of my life with you.” his voice was shivering, and unable to add anything else he pulled a square box from out his pocket, showing it to Kimito and opening it slowly.

It was a ring.

It was a ring, for him, and Soichi couldn’t even look him in the eyes now, but...

Instinctively he reached out with a hand, hitting his shoulder and started crying.

“Idiot!” he scolded him. “You idiot, for all this time I’ve thought you were about to break up with me and...”

He didn’t finish, but kept crying and the elder was quickly back on his feet, wrapping his arms tight around him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry my love, you don’t know how much. But I’ve been nervous lately, I didn’t know whether I should have asked you and how to do it. I know it’s silly, because it would be just a symbolic thing, but I wanted to do it and I wanted it to be perfect. I’ve thought about it too much and I’ve ruined it all, I’m sorry, but...” he interrupted the rant, taking a deep breath. “But I love you with all my heart, Kimito. I love you, and I want to keep doing that for all eternity.” he repeated, while Kimito dried his tears with the back of his hand; then he took the ring from the box, handing it to the elder so that he could put it on his finger.

He was confused. He couldn’t believe he had been so wrong, that he had misunderstood so much Soichi’s intentions, and now he also felt pretty stupid for having thought that they were about to break up.

“I love you too.” he managed to say. “And I believe in that nonsense about forever. I’ve always believed in that, Soichi, thanks to you.” he whispered, letting go to his embrace, raising his face so that the other man could kiss him.

He saw him smiling and couldn’t help but doing the same, looking at the ring on his finger.

“Can I take it as a yes, then?” Soichi murmured.

Kimito chuckled and nodded.

“At one condition.” he demanded. “I want to sleep with you tonight.”

Soichi sighed, shaking his head and collapsing on the mattress next to him.

“Not just tonight.” he specified. “I want to sleep with you for the rest of my life.”  


End file.
